How does one walk away from something you LOVE???

My surgeon had advised me to quit teaching immediately.  "You work in a cesspool of germs", was her reason and she wanted me to go into this process as healthy as possible.  Ironically, I already felt as healthy as possible!

I have battled with my weight my entire life.  I don't know what it's like to be stick-thin (like my older sister ... bless her heart green with envy!!).  September is always a good time for me -- I'm a routine person, and I love getting back into the routine of school.  I hadn't been the most motivated exerciser during the summer, so I decided to sign up for a "Boot Camp" run by Ashcroft's local fitness guru.  We met in a nearby park, and 5 evenings a week, for 4 weeks, we ran, jumped, squatted, and push-upped our butts off ... literally!!  There was a prize attached -- someone would be named "The Biggest Loser" if they managed to lose more pounds and inches than the rest of the group.  This sounds really braggy, but ... I WON!!!!  That was just the motivation I needed to sign up to start 6 a.m. workouts, 3 mornings a week.  It was a pleasure the hardest thing to get up at 5:15 a.m., get dressed, and have a bite to eat to get to workout, but it was well worth it.  I felt like I was getting into the best shape of my life (well, maybe with the exception of training with Judy for our 100 mile bike ride several years ago... OK ... several, several years ago!)

So ... I WAS healthy.  Resentment!!  Anger!!  Confusion!! ... these don't even begin to describe what I felt towards this intrusive disease that was now partying in MY body.  But, I have always been a people-pleaser, and I wanted to "please" my surgeon by obeying her.  I called my principal at home to tell him my news, and to inform him that Monday would be my last day.  He advised me to stay home on Monday, take the time to process all the information I had learned, and he'd see me on Tuesday.  He's a very wise man!!  I did go into school at the end of the day to see my staff, and cry with them as I told them I had breast cancer and would be missing the remainder of the year.  I arrived at work on Monday morning, ready to tell my students that it would be my last day.  My principal would come in near the end of the day to be my "support person", and I'd break the news to my precious students.

By lunch, I was a mess!  I made a crying phone call to David, telling him I couldn't do it ... I just wasn't ready to walk away from my class!  I realize that there are many, many teachers out there like me -- I'm not unique -- but, I LOVE MY STUDENTS!!!! I become VERY attached to my students VERY quickly, so we already had a tight bond that would be excruciating to break.  It would be like cutting off my left leg.  He told me he supported me with whatever decision I made.  When my principal arrived near the end of the day, I was still unsure what I was telling my students.  I started with the news that I had breast cancer.

Part way through my difficult talk, I made the decision that I COULD NOT LEAVE ... yet.  I told my students that I would stay as long as possible, try to help them with the transition to a new teacher, and come back and visit as much as possible.  We cried together ... and cried ... and cried ... and cried ... and many of them had to be physically pried off of me to catch their bus home.  This truly was one of the hardest moments of my entire life.  An even harder one would come 2 1/2 weeks later when it was my last day with them.