Surgery, The Before and After

The phone call finally came announcing the awaited date when my surgeon and plastic surgeon could coordinate a 3-hour chunk of time in the OR together.  DECEMBER 7, 2012.

During the weeks of waiting, I can't even begin to describe the gamut of emotions and questions I experienced.  I begged the date to hurry up and get here.  I wanted to rid my body of these tumors ASAP -- cancer cells divide FAST and I wanted them erased.  Yet, they were cutting off one of my breasts!  How could I want that day to arrive.  Would I feel "less of a woman"?  Could I possibly still look attractive (At this point in time, I hadn't even considered that in a few months I'd be a fat, bald woman with mouth sores from chemo!)?  Would the surgery go well? Would I bounce back?  Would I have normal range of motion in my arm?

The day arrived ...   Psychologically, I was considering this date an "arrival", "the end".  Boy, was I wrong!  I would later realize that counting down to this date was rather like being pregnant.  You count down days, and count down, and count down some more ... only to realize afterwards, that birth is a beginning, not an end.  My surgery date was exactly the same.  The day HAD arrived, but it wasn't the end, I had barely crossed the starting line of the long and winding road ahead.

My family and friends are incredible!!  If I had a dime for every supportive phone call leading up to my surgery date, I would never have to teach again!  On the day of my surgery, I had an extensive support team ... my husband, David; daughters Esther, Kate, and Joy; and Laura, my friend and #1 motivator who flew in from Smithers to be with me.  The most emotional moment of my wait while gowned up and ready to roll was seeing Kate's face come around the curtain.  I lost it!!!  Esther had driven from Kamloops to Vancouver to pick Kate up and they had driven half the night to make it back to Kamloops for my surgery.

I was unusually calm waiting to be rolled away.  We all laughed and visited, blocking out the reason we were together.  Until ... they came to roll me away.  Then, uncontrollable tears streamed down my face.  I can't say why -- fear, relief, anger, grief.

I HATE "waking up" after any surgery.  It's such a bizarre sensation of lost time, no memory, pain, but why? Did those moments and hours really exist if I can't recall them?  After spending quite some time in recovery, I arrived in a semi-private room about 8 p.m.  I spent a sleepless night listening to my roommate groan in pain, and was relieved to see morning come.  However, when I was asked at 8 a.m. had my ride arrived yet, I was taken aback.  I knew I would leave at some point that day, but they apparently wanted me out of the way right quick!  I received some instructions on the care and fluid-measuring of my drain, and was on my way to Ashcroft by 10 a.m.  A whole 10 hours on the ward!

The best purchase we made prior to my surgery was a motorized recliner chair (am I allowed to say La-Z-Boy?? This is not an advertisement for La-Z-Boy, but this chair is Ama-Z-ing!!)  In the days and weeks following my surgery, I lazed in it, napped in it, and even slept in it every night.  There was no way I could lay prone or take the chance of rolling onto my "bad" side, so sleeping in the chair was the answer.  I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that if you are someone who is going to have a similar surgery, have a very comfy chair waiting at home.

In the first days at home, Kate was my personal care nurse.  It's uncanny how such circumstances bring out traits in your own daughter you never knew they possessed.  She was (and continues to be) my rock, my med-giver, my motivator, my nurse.  My personal physiotherapist was my baby girl, Joy.  She was the perfect mix of tough taskmaster and caring encourager.  Progress with my range of motion was slow, but steady, as I persisted with the regime of exercises 2-3 times every day.  Sticking with it is key!!

I have to give another advertisement here ... if I may.  My four daughters purchased me a garment called a "Brobe", made especially for women who have had a mastectomy.  The creators of this robe should win an award!  It has an inner bra which velcroes in the front and has pockets for ice packs, when necessary.  They even thought to include a pocket for the bulb of a drain!.  The fabric is an incredibly soft knit, and I lived in my Brobe for weeks after my surgery.

In my new Brobe from my girls.

Now, it was "hurry up and wait" time again.   What would the pathology report say???