Neuropathy, Omega-3 Fatty Acids, and

Here it is, Friday again!  Last Friday was my last chemo.  It's been a splendid week full of gratifying activities, and has flown by so fast.

I continued to try to exercise each and every day.  A major feat was completing another 45 minute walk/run with 12 minutes of running.  Cardio Turbo Jam DVD's also kept me jumping and punching for over 20 minutes, three times this week.  I am so thankful that my stamina IS returning and I have the capability to increase my minutes of cardio every day.

Neupogen injections are coming to an end!  YAY!  As of today, it's 63 down, 1 to go. I never thought I'd make it through the mental game of giving myself all those needles. Here's a picture of my "safe disposal container" that has to go to the hospital to be dealt with appropriately.

I will be overjoyed to be done with this daily ritual.  It has been a difficult part of the process for me. I'm all practiced up for the feeling of mosquito bites this summer -- that truly is what the needle feels like, but my blown-out-of-proportion  mind game makes it seem like much more.

Neuropathy

In between Cycles 7 and 8, and now again after Cycle 8, my toes have been tingling and numb. Yes, this is another side effect of the Paclitaxel -- neuropathy.  In layman's terms, its peripheral nerve damage usually affecting the fingers (hence, my sensitive finger nails) and toes (hence, my tingling and numb toes).  There is no pain involved for me, it's just an incredibly weird sensation.  Feeling kind of like my toes are asleep, I constantly wiggle and waggle them, but it doesn't help one iota. Dr. Proctor told me many women find that it takes 6-12 months for the nerves to heal -- apparently, nerves are very slow healers. It will require much patience to put up with this sensation for that length of time.

Neuropathy is most commonly found in diabetes patients and can develop into some major complications, including infections and amputations.  I just learned yesterday that carpal tunnel syndrome is a type of neuropathy.  Thankfully, the present extent of my neuropathy should be the worst it gets, since my body will no longer be getting Paclitaxel flowing through its veins.

If you're interested in more reading about neuropathy, the internet has a plethora of sites that explain, medically, the ins and outs of neuropathy.  Here's a few that I found interesting.
Neuropathy
Canadian Neuropathy Association

Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Kate sent a very interesting article to me about omega-3 fatty acids slowing triple-negative breast cancer cell production. I'm sure it caught her attention, as it sure did mine, because the article is about the specific kind of breast cancer that I have.  Since I'm not a meat eater, I immediately googled excellent sources of omega-3's and discovered that even higher than seafood on the list is flax oil.  To the fridge I went, and downed 2 tablespoons of flax oil -- yuck -- but, hey, if it helps ...

At my chemo teaching session way back in February, they told us NOT to take any supplements (vitamins, etc.) even if we had heard they had cancer-fighting qualities.  However, I'm done chemo now, and omega-3's are found in food --- flax is a food, not a supplement, right?  I'm going to be taking flax oil every day for quite some time.

Here's a link to the article if you're interested in reading it.
Omega 3's

There was one sentence in the article that really bothered me.  It went something like this ...

"This type of cancer, which is found more frequently in Latina and African-American women, is highly aggressive and has a low survival rate. There is not any specific treatment for it."

I really didn't like the "low survival rate" part since I'm GOING TO SURVIVE THIS!!!!!!

Excitement

I have an extremely exciting event happening in my life over the next week.  Definitely, a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing.  Some of you know what I'm doing, and others will have to wait and see if I can tell you about it at the other end of the week. Sorry!!!  I'll be away from my blog for about 8 days. 

CHEMO IS DONE!!!

Elation, excitement, glee, exhilaration, relief, delight ... triumph!!!

These are just a few of the emotions I feel the day after MY LAST CHEMO!!

I have had a fabulous day so far.  I talked to my brother and sister about an upcoming, very exciting visit next weekend.  Then, Kate and I went on a superb power walk -- still trying to build my stamina. The quiet, gravel road meanders along the river and has gentle climbs and downward slopes.  I even managed 9+ minutes of running!!!! Now, mind you, that was NOT 9 consecutive minutes -- sometimes I could only make it for a grand total of 45 seconds before needing to slow down to catch my breath -- but, Kate kept track on her stopwatch and we did over 9 minutes!  My original goal was 7 minutes -- not only is 7 my favourite number but I got to sit in chair #7 for my last chemo yesterday.  Before I knew it, we were at 8 minutes -- well, yesterday was chemo #8 -- perfect! However, by the time we got back to the car, we had clocked an amazing 9+ minutes.  I realize that this might not seem like a major accomplishment, but when I look back on my days following previous chemo days, it is incredible.

After cycle #1, I was bent over the toilet bowl on Day 2. For cycles #2-4, I was lucky to leave the house and attempt a shuffling walk around the block on Day 2. That's why today's walk/run seems like such a major accomplishment.

Me attempting to be brave, but I couldn't make it to the top :)

We made it!! Back at the car.

Our healthy lunch when we got home.
Fresh veggies and a spinach, cucumber, banana smoothie.

A quick few words about my exciting, medical appointment-filled last few days.

THURSDAY:

9:40 a.m. - Dr. Proctor for my regular oncologist visit pre-chemo.  I did remember to ask him about the chest CT this time.  I was freaked out that he had felt something or suspected something and just wasn't telling me.  NOT THE CASE - thank the Lord!!  He said since I needed the abdomen CT to look at the lesion on my liver anyways, why not have a look at my chest and make sure all is well.  Normally, a patient wouldn't get any kind of check up like this until at least 6 months after chemo, so I should consider myself lucky that I was getting a CT now.  So ... it's a good thing ... it's a precaution ... it's checking that there is NO SIGN of any new growth of any of that yucky cancer stuff.

10:00 a.m. - off to the chemo ward to get my port accessed and to get Alteplase injected.  This was to save me an hour on Friday pre-chemo since my blessed port has been such a nuisance.  So ... Nurse April accesses my port and ... guess what?????  BLOOD!!! Go figure!! Then, my chemo brain took over and I didn't think to ask her to take blood for my lab work :( :(

1:30 p.m. - blood work at the lab

2:15 p.m. - CT time.  I lived through the excruciating pain joy of two attempts at putting an IV in the back of my hand.  PS ... that hand now has a beautiful, blue bruise that covers pretty much the entire back of my hand.  Since Nurse April had put a blood thinner in my port to keep it clot free for Friday, they were unable to use my port for the contrast liquid for the CT.

FRIDAY:

8:00 a.m. - Tissue expander inflation at Dr. Meredith's.  His best guess is one, or maybe two, more inflations and then I'm done :) :)  Apparently, he over-inflates a bit so that when the implant is put in (likely in February-ish), the skin will droop a bit.  That ongoing curse of a 54-year-old droopy breast he has to try to match up.  Good thing there's a "lift" happening on the same day.

Me checking out the latest inflation :)
Just about a matching set!!

9:20 a.m. - Off to Dr. Cinel, my optometrist.  I have been having trouble with a watery eye.  My left eye runs and runs and runs.  Not 24/7, but probably every third day or so.  It is quite a nuisance to constantly carry around a kleenex to dab away the tears.  YES -- chemo affects tear ducts.  Is there ANYTHING that chemo doesn't affect???  He gave me a long, medical explanation about the two kinds of tears we have and how chemo dries up the thick tears that moisturize our eyes constantly.  When these thick tears are destroyed by chemo, the eye compensates by producing the thin, runny, tears that we get when we're emotional or get something in our eye.  So ... even though it's a nuisance, my eye is trying to do the best job it can to stay moisturized.

10:15 a.m. LAST CHEMO - Esther and David were both with me for the first hour or so.  Then, David left to do errands again.  Esther has been a constant chemo companion since I've been home for chemo, and I appreciate her so much.  She gets me lunch, laughs with me, and patiently sits while I have my Benadryl-induced naps.  We were on our way about 3 p.m.  Stopping quickly for my LAST batch of Neupogen, we arrived home about 4:30 p.m.

Done!!!  Finished!!!  Triumphant!!!
I know this is only a step along my journey, and I still have many steps to take -- radiation and more surgery -- but it feels like a huge, huge accomplishment.

Chemo #8 -- DONE :):)

Angelina Jolie, Double Mastectomies, and Hard Decisions

Recently, Angelina Jolie chose to have a double mastectomy because of a genetic mutation predisposing her to ovarian and breast cancer. One simply has to Google "Angelina Jolie mastectomy" to wade through a myriad of opinions from professionals and laymen about the foolishness or wiseness of her very personal decision.

W-a-a-a-y back on November 4, 2012 when I learned of my breast cancer diagnosis, my surgeon briefly mentioned the possibility of a double mastectomy.  She let me know that she greatly discourages all patients needing a single mastectomy from considering a double mastectomy. Since I was definitely "deer in the headlights" that afternoon, I blindly followed along with her thinking. Of course, over the next days and weeks, I thought about a double mastectomy many times, especially after reading what chemo and radiation would entail.  Why would I ever want to go through all this twice, if I could increase my odds of only going through it once by getting rid of both breasts at once?

The complicating factor with my case was that I did not have an over-expression of the HER2 gene -- the most genetic of the 4 main types of breast cancer.  Remember many posts back I talked about being "triple negative" -- the most aggressive type of breast cancer -- one of those negatives was for HER2.  Just to reiterate -- EXCELLENT news for my four daughters -- not quite such good news for me.

Preventative mastectomies are really only indicated when a woman carries the gene that predisposes them to breast cancer.  In my case, having a double mastectomy would have been an emotional decision to help my psychological peace-of-mind in the future.  It would NOT have been a medically-sound decision.

There is a far greater chance of my cancer reoccurring in the chest muscle, skin, or lymph nodes in my original cancer site, or of the cancer travelling to my liver, lungs, or bones than there is of the cancer "jumping" to the other breast.  My oncologist has told me several times that if cancer ever appeared in my other breast, there is a 99% chance it would be totally unrelated to my original breast cancer.

Now I understand more what my surgeon meant when she said she discourages double mastectomies in cases like mine.

Had I carried the gene, what would my decision have been??  What would my girls' decision have been once they learned the genetic predisposition at play in their bodies? That's almost impossible to say.  Does the age of the woman matter?  Some people have said a preventative double mastectomy was fine for Sharon Osbourne "at her age", but Angelina is a young woman and should never have done it.  Does marital status, children, where you are in your life matter?  Like so much else in life, it's an individual decision and how dare any of us say it is right or wrong!

Having lived through a single mastectomy and many, many other tests, scans, surgeries, pokes, chemos, etc. etc., the mastectomy was NOT the worst.  Far from it.  If a woman can do the rehab and recuperate fairly well from a double mastectomy, have reconstruction, and reduce her chances of breast cancer by 70-80%, all the power to her!!

Building Stamina

My goal this past week has been to build stamina, in regards to many aspects of my life.

First, I need to build stamina in how much I can get done in a day.  I'm task-driven!  If I've got 15 things on my "to do" list, I'll power through until every last chore has the little box filled in beside it.  If, on the other hand, I only assign myself one lousy little thing to get done, procrastination becomes my middle name and, chances are, even that one tiny task won't get accomplished.  Can anyone else relate?? Ashcroft has been one of Canada's "hot spots" all week. Temperatures have been soaring to a scorching 33-35 degrees every day.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm NOT complaining, but the beautiful, new house we live in doesn't have an air conditioner ... yet. Therefore, if I'm going to do housework, it needs to be done fairly early in the day.  On Monday morning, I meticulously made my "To Do" list for the week, focusing on "spring cleaning" types of tasks to wipe out the cobwebs and spruce up the nooks and crannies that had been neglected all winter.  I'm very pleased to report that every box was black by the end of the week. However, I only managed to get one major chore done every day.  My energy level seemed relatively good to accomplish the task, but I'd sure like to work up to more than one household chore a day.  (And ... we won't mention my prone body position for the majority of the afternoon!)

Second, I need to build my cardio stamina.  Realizing that I've whined and sniveled before about my lack of ability to exercise and my downward decline in fitness level, I will try not to focus on what I haven't been able to do.  Rather, I will tell you what I've been trying to do.  Every day, my goal is to incorporate some cardio exercise into the minutes of the day.  Some days, this might look like a power walk -- "No, David, this is NOT a hand-holding walk!  This is a power walk!!"  On Wednesday, I even managed to run for part of my walk.  I had tried before, but to no avail.  It always seemed too painful and "bouncy" at my mastectomy sight.  Ever since I got my last inflation, my chest seems more able to take some bouncing and jiggling, likely because it is "fuller" and somehow feels more secure.  DVD's have been part of my workout routine for a very, very long time (hence the 80's-looking clothing on some of the exercisers!!).  One I've persisted with over the years is called "Turbo Jam", and I have several DVD's in this series.  Focusing on my favourite one, each session I've been trying to increase the number of minutes I can get through.  As sad and sorry as it is, initially I was doing well to get through 5 minutes (that's hardly more than the warm-up).  However, yesterday, I made it through a grand total of 15 minutes -- a major accomplishment for me!!  No, I'm not quite ready for my Jillian Michaels DVD's yet :( :(  I won't be attempting "30-Day Shred" for about 30 more days!

Third, I need to build stamina in human interaction.  I'm not really sure how to go about this -- visit with people more??  Unbelievably, this is probably the most tiring, energy-zapping thing I try to do. Being a people-lover, this is incredibly difficult for me.  I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, and I want to spend time with them.  Perhaps I'm a really good actress, because I am able to appear energetic, even fooling myself at the time, and then when I'm alone ... I crash!!  Often, I have grandiose plans of having tea with this friend, playing Scrabble with that friend, calling these three in the evening -- and when someone cancels plans, it's such a huge relief.  If you are my friend or family member, PLEASE don't think I mean you!!!!!  David is always trying to protect me from doing too much.  I take great offense at this, since I am an adult human being with a fairly good brain to make decisions for myself.  He will warn me against attempting too much human interaction, but I rarely listen.  I learn the hard way.

Improving stamina is synonymous with decreasing fatigue for the same activity.  Here's a 7-step approach that I found on the internet:
1. Eat healthy - Check! (most of the time, except for the odd jujubes or cheddar popcorn ...shhhhh!!)
2. Drink lots of water - Check!
3. Get plenty of exercise - If I'm trying to improve my stamina in the exercise department, how do I do that if exercise is part of the 7-step program??  I don't understand!
4. Choose an activity I love -
   Chores: Never! Well, a sense of accomplishment after, but never during the chore.
   Exercise: Most of the time I like exercise, but I love the feeling afterwards.
   People-interaction:  Love! Love! Love!
5. Build up gradually - Check!
6. Involve others - "David, the 7-step program says you HAVE to clean the bathroom today!" :)
7. Visualize my goal - OK, I'll keep my eye on the prize!!

I'll keep working on it!!!

"Life Before Cancer", Asparagus Picking, and Feeling Good

I almost don't feel like a cancer patient today!!  When I look in the mirror, I get a cruel reminder but, otherwise, I feel very, very good.

Saturday was an incredible day, full of elation with exhilarating thoughts of being done chemo extremely soon. If I had my druthers, I'd do cycle #8 THIS Friday, just to get it over with.  And ... I feel like my body could handle it!

This old body of mine continued to cooperate on Sunday.  David and I headed out early in the morning to hunt for asparagus.  By the looks of things, we were a week or two late, but we managed to find a good feed.  Our moments wandering through the cacti and sagebrush were just "normal life" -- something David and I would do any spring.  Such occasions are so precious to me, almost like unearthing buried treasure ... tiny glimpses of "life before cancer".

It is sad to me that true "life before cancer" will NEVER exist again.  There will always be check ups, worries, nagging thoughts, feeling for any twinge or pain, any symptom that could possibly mean ...

Back to happier things!!  Here's a few photos from our wandering in the desert ...

Our bounty :)

A brisk walk downtown actually seemed to help my slight leg and ankle pain this morning, and then I unleashed my seemingly limitless energy on my filthy kitchen cupboards -- another "normal life" activity that didn't seem like work at all. Imagine!!

Glancing down at my dresser on my way through the bedroom, I spotted something else very exciting ...

Chemo Cycle 7 is History!!

It seems surreal that I will only visit the chemo chair one more time!! If I were a pessimist - which I'm not - I could say "one more time" this time around. However, I've ALWAYS been an optimist, and I will steadfastly remain one.

Over the past week, I randomly encountered two women - one old and one young - who had stories to tell that could have easily gotten me down in the dumps. The first, a lovely older woman in a washroom in Quesnel's Super Store, took one look at me in the mirror while we washed our hands side-by-side, and stated, "Chemo! I've been through that twice, and my husband, once." We went on to have a frightening lovely conversation (there's that instant camaraderie again), ending with her wishing me the best and me feeling like I just passed through a whirlwind. I WILL REMAIN AN OPTIMIST! On Wednesday, while shopping with Esther between doctor visits in Kamloops, a young cashier asked the same "Chemo, right?" question.  She went on to relay how she has been her mom's support system while she endured chemo three times.  I WILL REMAIN AN OPTIMIST!

Arriving a few minutes after my 9:00 a.m. appointment because of the mandatory McDonald's coffee stop (many of you will get this "joke" ... LOL), I got all hooked up about 9:15.  Big surprise ahead ... wait for it ... wait for it ... NOPE ... NO BLOOD!! At least the nurses know to go straight for the vial of Alteplace now, they don't waste time with all the contortionist positions and get me to cough my lungs out (making all the other patients run for their surgical masks).

Trying to save me time by not waiting the full 60 minutes, my nurse, Jacquie, checked for blood return at 15 minutes ... nothing.  30 minutes ... nothing.  60 minutes ... BINGO!  None of the professionals can determine why a clot buster helps with what appears to be a positional problem, but hey, let's not ask "why" as long as it works.

An aside:  On my long list of appointments and trips in the last post, I forgot to mention that Dr. Proctor wants my port out ASAP.  Therefore, add another surgery to the list sometime after Cycle 8. I was really hoping it could wait until my reconstruction surgery, getting a "2-for-1 deal".  However, the only reason patients have a port left in is in anticipation of more chemo.  If I ever need chemo again ... I WILL REMAIN AN OPTIMIST ... apparently, no one in their right  mind would ever use this port!

Finally, I was hooked up to the first pre-med just before 11 a.m.  David, very impatient by this time, is tapping his foot uncontrollably and asking if Kate and Esther are ever going to arrive (his permission to leave!)  Reminding him that he had now spent a grand total of 2-1/2 hours with me at chemo, and this was Cycle 7, he needed to remain cognizant of the fact that Kate had spent upwards of 15 hours with me so far at chemo. "Suck it up, buttercup!!" When I got a text that the girls were just looking for a parking spot (an impossible feat at the Kamloops Hospital), I gave David permission to vacate the premises.

By this time, I was hooked up to Benadryl and fighting to keep my eyes open.  However, I didn't want to be Sleeping Beauty right when the girls arrived, so I soldiered on, propping my eyes open with some nearby toothpicks (oh ... that must have been in my drug-induced dreams).  I'm looking a bit "Out there in La La Land" in this photo as a result :) In the first 5 pictures Kate tried, I thought I was smiling, but no smile appeared in the photo.

The girls thought I was looking rather angelic with the sun streaming in the window behind me.

The three hours hooked up to Taxol were uneventful.  The print-off of my blood results indicated that my numbers have never been better (God answers prayer!).  After a quick stop at the Safeway Pharmacy for more Neupogen -- to keep my aches coming on Sunday AND keep my neutrophils high -- we were on our way home to Ashcroft.

Another one under my belt ... and only ...

ONE MORE TO GO!!!!!

Life as a Cancer Patient, Wife, and Mom is Crazy!!

Glancing over my calendar for the next few months, I realized that life is going to be jam-packed, full-to-the-max, crazy, crazy over the next few months!

First, let me backtrack to fill you in on a few goodies from yesterday's trip to Kamloops and two doctor visits. My oncologist, Dr. Proctor, was first on the agenda at 9:40 a.m.  Since he had examined me so thoroughly last visit, he mainly asked about the leg pain and how the new meds worked.  I was happy to report to him that the nerve-numbing medication had worked better than the T3's, and I had only needed the occasional codeine tablet to keep the pain at bay.  My tender finger nails were the next item up for discussion.  While we were in Smithers, all my nails became very tender to the touch.  Also, the strangest brown markings have appeared on three nails on my right hand and two on my left.  Apparently, the tenderness is the pre-cursor of neuropathy -- tingling and numbness of the finger tips.  With only two cycles of  Taxol left to go, I may be able to dodge the "neuropathy bullet", but we'll see.  Chock it up to another dreadful blessed side effect :) :)

After shopping for hours with Esther, I saw Dr. Meredith, my plastic surgeon, about 3:30 p.m.  It was time for another dreaded inflation!!  Since I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row for September (Shhhhh!!!! I want to go back to teaching!!!!), I have been curious about the best timing for the final reconstruction surgery.  Good news -- the soonest he will do the surgery is 6 months after radiation.  Skin gets very unelastic after radiation and doesn't like to heal after an incision, so it needs at least 6 months to "get back in shape" (Lucky skin!! I think it'll take me more than 6 months to get in shape!!).  For the first time, I felt the needle go into my tissue expander.  I saw this as a good thing because it means I'm getting feeling back at my mastectomy sight.  Similar to the last inflation, I felt no discomfort afterwards and still feel none today.  My only explanation is that it has been several weeks (not just 2) in between inflations, so everything's nice and "loosey goosey".  I booked three more inflation appointments, and THAT SHOULD BE IT!!!!!!  They're looking pretty "even" to me already ... if I'm allowed to say that?!?

Yes, attending appointments (and some fun stuff thrown in there, too) over the next few months is going to keep me hopping.  Here's what the next few months look like:

TOMORROW, May 3 - Chemo #7 (only one more to go after that!!)
May 8 - Drive David to Kamloops for a medical procedure -- FINALLY the roles are reversed!!!
May 15 - inflation with Dr. Meredith
May 16 - FINALLY get the liver CT done.  Kinda scary that Dr. Proctor booked a chest CT too :(
   Hoping its just a precaution (Yes, I forgot to ask yesterday.  It wasn't on my list.)
In here somewhere there will be blood work and an oncologist visit - no dates & times yet.
May 17 - CHEMO #8:  LAST ONE, FINITO, DONE, YAY!!!!!!!!
May 25 - Fly to Edmonton for an extremely special visit that I may talk about later :) :)
June 2 - Fly home from Edmonton
June 4 - inflation with Dr. Meredith
June 6 - radiation consultation in Kelowna
   Maybe I'll finally know what my summer looks like.
June 13 - Drive to Victoria for Kate's grad ceremony
June 16 - home from Victoria
June 17 - inflation with Dr. Meredith - MAYBE done ?!?
Should start radiation somewhere about June 24th or July 1 week.  There goes the next 6 weeks of my life :)

Phew!!  I'm exhausted just thinking about all these dates.  Better practice what I preach ...

I just said to someone downtown today, "Life as a cancer patient is putting in time waiting for the next appointment to arrive."  At least with a schedule that looks like this one, it's not long to wait between each one!