A Chemo Anniversary

A momentous anniversary occurred on Saturday and I neglected to mention it in my post that day. February 8th marked one year since my first cycle of chemo.

Chemo is rather like pregnancy and childbirth in so many ways! Childbirth first ... a painful and rather traumatic experience, but one that brings incredible joy. So much so, that one's brain is apt to quickly forget all the discomfort and agony to concentrate solely on the end result -- an indescribable, precious gift in the form of a baby. When people ask me how chemo was, my brain is apt to quickly forget all the discomfort and agony, as well. I respond with things like, "It wasn't that bad.", or "The 16 weeks flew by." HOGWASH!! It was that bad!!

On Saturday, when it struck me what the date was, I thought several times of that first chemo experience...

• The trepidation and uncertainty with which I arrived at the Cancer Agency, shrouded in an uneasiness I couldn't really describe.
• The relative ease of receiving the two sets of chemo drugs, largely due to my port.
• Asking myself 99 times over, "Do I still feel OK?" and the incredible relief when the answer was "yes".
• The disappointment and sense of defeat when the answer changed to "NO!!!" 
• My desire to stay as still as possible, not think about food, and especially not think about coffee (aka ... the pregnancy part!)
• Overwhelming nausea -- the worst I've ever experienced in my life.
• Having to face my first Neupogen injections in the midst of everything else.
• My intense desire to walk away from the entire process!!

I could not let this anniversary come and go without some quick thank you's ...

Rachel - You took me out for lunch at the scrumptious Italian bakery in Oak Bay, where we sat outside in the sunshine, and I tried to forget what was coming later in the day. You sat beside me and reassured me as I cried with fear in the chemo chair. THANK YOU!

Kate - You nursed me over the course of the entire weekend, drying my tears, bringing me bowls, mopping my brow, and offering rock-like support. You drove for ginger ale, crackers,and other anti-nausea supplies. You gave me my first injection when I couldn't face doing it myself. THANK YOU!

Moya - You initially went to my chemo-teach session with me, and then were there to offer support and help nurse me through cycle #1. You went for supplies and waited on me hand and foot. THANK YOU!

Maureen - You checked on me constantly by phone, and talked me through my roughest day of cancer treatment. You reassured me, when all I wanted to do was run! THANK YOU!

I'm beyond "there" now :)