Victoria Remembrances

Have you ever heard the saying, "The more things change, the more they stay the same"?? Well, in the last 24 hours, I have experienced drastic transformations -- so much so that I'd like to alter the saying to read, "The more I desire things to stay the same, the more they change".

The recent activity of packing up suitcases to head to Victoria for 5 days stirred up memories that I had pushed to the back recesses of my mind. A few of the memories were welcomed back to the forefront spaces, but my consciousness was also crowded with several unpleasant ones that I would gladly have left tucked away for many more years -- if not forever.

The more things change ...

CHANGE #1: As I drove off the ferry headed for the city, my car was like a homing pigeon, self-directing to the Oak Bay neighbourhood of Victoria where I spent three months last spring. Trouble is, Rachel and Stu no longer live in the house where I camped out for those months of chemo. It still stands, but half dismantled, contractors busily renovating it for the new occupants. Is "my" bedroom still the same? How about the bathroom where I mustered up the fortitude to stab myself with daily injections? As we drove by last evening, I didn't want to look too closely, desiring to remember the house the way it was.

CHANGE #2: Bringing supper so Rachel wouldn't have to cook after a day at school, I stopped by Safeway (remember the one I could hardly walk home from last year?)  -- or so I thought -- for some additional dinner supplies. The store was "in transition" to a Save-On Foods and was closed for one day ... yesterday! Way to rub the change in my face!! That's the store where I picked up all my anti-nausea prescriptions; that's the store I walked to almost daily for cooking supplies for suppers; that's the store where I often met my friend, Debbie for coffee.  Gone!!

CHANGE #3: In order to help Stu complete his homework assignment of collecting sea water for a chemistry lab, we went on a family outing along scenic Dallas Road. Who knew "Two Chairs with a View" could procreate?? There's now "Three chairs with a View" -- an extra one for an additional friend to sit with me! Who wants to relax in the new red one?

CHANGE #4: Rachel's new home is several miles from their former Oak Bay one. However, desiring to visit my old stomping grounds, I set out on foot both to get in my RUNClub playwork and to see familiar sites. My main destination was 'the chairs'. Initially, I was completing my required 4.5 minutes walking, 1.5 minutes running, seven times over, but after 5.1 km I still wasn't at the chairs. Determined to get there, I walked on, covering another kilometre before finally seeing the chairs beckoning to me. I complied by resting there, viewing the gorgeous seascape and contemplating life for half an hour before setting off to retrace my steps back home. Thankful for the enormous change of having more-than-adequate energy for the trek, it was good for me to realize just how far my fitness level has come since being able to rejoin the exercising world. I am often guilty of only whining about where I want to be, and not acknowledging the progress I've made.

CHANGE #5: I'm not nauseated at the thought of coffee ... or any other substance that passes my lips. Metallic tastes and peeling gums are no more -- in fact, I smell coffee right this minute and I'm catapulting out of bed to pour a large mug.

... a few have stayed the same

SAMENESS #1: The B.C. Cancer Agency still welcomes cancer patients with warm volunteers, of which Stu is now one, gathering volunteer hours for his med school application. My car instinctively turned down the dead-end road on which the Cancer Agency resides. Oh, the numerous hours I endured there, visiting with oncologists, trying to get blood samples, or camped out in the horseshoe of chemo chairs.

SAMENESS #2: Victoria remains one of the world's most beautiful cities! Although my memories are an eclectic mix of the pleasant and the horrific -- this city brought me the majority of my chemo and it's glorious gruesome side affects, but also brought me a fighting chance at life.

Spring Blossoms

It's raining and windy this morning, but I will still go walking to gaze at all the spring flowers!!

This is Our Community

We are connected, you and I ...

I always say, to myself and others, that I would write this blog regardless if I was the only person reading it afterward. However, I do regularly check my pageviews (how many people are looking at my blog posts), and Blogger even tells me which countries those pageviews originate from. Somehow, my original words don't ring true because it definitely gives me more incentive and inspiration to write when I know that others are taking the time to read my blog. A very usual day for my blog would be 20-30 pageviews. I'm over-the-top excited about that, especially when it's not just my Canadian friends and family. On a regular basis, I now have triple or quadruple the pageviews from the U.S. compared to Canada -- THANK YOU, neighbours neighbors to the south!! Brazil, Malaysia, Germany, Belgium, Colombia ... how did you find "little old me"?? However, I'm eternally grateful that you did! My heart literally bursts to think that there are kindred spirits all over the globe that I am connected to, albeit by a tiny thread, aka "the internet". I love people -- it's in my DNA to connect, giving me purpose, meaning, and drive.

So ... what was up with yesterday?? 96 pageviews!! I fully understand that there are blogs out there getting thousands or millions of pageviews daily, but this is just me -- sitting in Ashcroft, B.C. -- writing from my heart. I'm not a big-time blogger, getting paid to write, with advertisements down the sidebars. I'm just pouring my heart, soul, and life onto the keyboard and am so appreciative that someone out there enjoys reading it.

I give you myself in words, and you receive them ... we both belong.

This is our community.

Have a ridiculously amazing Friday!!

Chemo Memories

My principal just sent me this link, saying it reminded her of me so she wanted to share it. I sobbed my way through watching this video, as I simultaneously belted out my own version. How quickly the mind forgets what chemo was like!! The endless row of chairs, the beeping IV pump, the long, thin line carrying poisonous "life" to my port ... oh my!! One year ago, I was right in the eye of the storm known as chemotherapy -- but now it's in the past!!

Ironically, the Kelly Clarkson song is the same one my fitness instructor, Vicky, played for me the morning we "celebrated" the one year anniversary of my diagnosis.

Cancer DIDN'T kill me!!  And, I AM STRONGER than ever -- in body, mind, and spirit!!

Have a watch ...

Chemo Memories

For any of you still in the throws of chemo, I say to you, "I know how you're feeling. You CAN do it!! It WILL end!!" Thinking of you all with loving and caring thoughts and prayers.

A Terrific Thursday to you all!

Words of Encouragement

My strong desire is to be an encourager. Whether it be through my teaching, my blog, or something as insignificant as my day-to-day conversations with those around me -- I yearn to uplift, to edify.

When compliments are so easily interspersed into chats with friends or even the cashier at the grocery store, why be cheap with them? 

I want my words, thoughts, and deeds to be punctuated with kindness and encouragement, making the difference in someone's day that moves them from the doldrums into hope and optimism.

Recently, while doing some "work" on my emotional health, I have come to realize just how profoundly having breast cancer has affected EVERY aspect of my life -- including my emotional health. Part of my recent healing process has been acknowledging just how deeply it wounded me when I did not receive the expected support and encouragement from certain people in my life. Tears started to well up from inside me -- from somewhere far removed from my eyes. Tears from my soul. My raw pain was overwhelming. However, forgiveness is such an important part of wellness, and something I have given in the past week. My wounds are healing.

In another case of perfect timing, an email arrived from a dear friend today. It was encouragement from start to finish, and included the words, "You are the bravest woman I know!"  Oh, how my soul needed to hear those uplifting words today!

Now, it's my turn to "pay it forward" and seek out opportunities to offer encouragement in return.

Thank you, Judy! You will NEVER know the extent of what you did for me

today :) I appreciate you!

  

Three Tiny Events

Have you ever had that mystical feeling that stars are aligning, giving you a message? Well, three events -- small, in and of themselves -- have aligned to make TODAY the start (How many times in my life have I said that??) of something FANTASTIC!! The start of me working towards a healthier body!!

Now, I know what you're thinking ... "I've heard Yvonne say that about 23 times in this blog already!" Did I read your mind?? I don't want this time to be about what the scale says, and I really, really need to stick to it -- for more than two weeks :):)

EVENT #1: About a week ago, I traveled with my students to a Health Careers Fair in Lillooet. Represented there, was every health care professional imaginable, from registered nurses to paramedics to doulas. Each station had many free take-aways to encourage the students to live a healthier lifestyle. I picked up a "Health & Wellness Daily Organizer". Each week is laid out on a double page, with daily spots to record food eaten, exercise, and emotional health. In the spot set aside for "respecting tobacco" (I've never been a smoker), I'm recording how many glasses of water I drink. A "wellness tip" starts each page, and "I'm grateful for ..." is the last thing I will write before flipping to a fresh week.

EVENT #2: Just before February 11th, my precious daughter, Kate, sent me a surgery survival kit. In it, was the February issue of "Ladies' Home Journal". The issue seemed made just for me!

Inside were articles such as ...

• "Short Hair is HOT!" -- phew! Got that covered!
• "My Sister is My Best Friend" - now true after my cancer battle
• "Get Healthy and Blast Belly Fat in just 6 weeks"-- how did the magazine writers know that I now DO have enough belly fat for the alternate breast reconstruction? Yikes!!

I'm not calling it coincidental that the belly fat article has exactly the same number of weeks as my RUNClub clinic -- I'm calling it "a sign from God"! Far from gimmicky, the suggestions are down-to-earth things like curb your sweet tooth, put on your walking shoes, cut back on salt (ouch! that one hurts!!), and work in strength training.

EVENT #3: RUNClub!!! Yesterday marked our first official run together. Approximately 30 of us set out at 8:30 a.m., putting in 45 minutes and covering 4 kilometres. It seemed a slow pace (5 minutes walking; 1 minute running), but I'm pretty sure I've given up in the past because of doing too much, too fast. Imagine living in a tiny town, and meeting three new people who I've never seen before. Thank you Sharon, Lisa, and Fayleen for your company and conversation along the way. The social environment of yesterdays session made the time zoom by. We also have the "playwork" assignment of fitting in two more walk/run sessions on our own before next Saturday. Next week I will ask if any of my new buddies want to get together to complete the playwork. Misery Exuberance loves company!!

I'm putting my best foot forward!

I'm sticking to it!

I'm loving myself by caring for me!

 

Today is Get Pink'd!!

HAPPY "GET PINK'D" DAY!!

Are you clad in pink from head to toe?

Are you declaring from the mountain tops,

"It's national breast cancer awareness day!"?

Don your pink duds and get out there!!

Getting it Right on "Parenthood"

Rarely do I feel that a fictionalized account of a woman having breast cancer "gets it right". Such is not the case with a TV show I occasionally watch called "Parenthood". There's usually not too much action during an episode -- it's more about the connections (the good, the bad, and the ugly) of the Braverman family as they live life.

During last season's (Season 4) episodes, Kristina learned that she had breast cancer. Several of the episodes recount her doctor visits, trials of chemotherapy, glories of baldness, and eventual recovery back to relative health.

I happened to turn on the TV and catch last week's episode, which took place right at the timing for Kristina's check-up. Once again, I thought the writers and actors did a fabulous job of recounting the stress, anxiety, frustration, and relief of the concern-filled days leading up to the check-up and anticipating results.

Have a watch and see what you think ...

Parenthood Link
(I had a hard time finding a link that wanted to work correctly, which is unusual. This is a link to Global TV and, unfortunately, they force you to watch the ads so I apologize about that.)

The bits that directly concern Kristina and her check-up are found at minutes:
6:00 - 9:00

24:50 - 26:25
I thought this one particularly pertinent, as it is the husband stressing and the cancer patient doing the reassuring!

35:10 - 36:53
"All clear! I'm perfect! You're stuck with me. Gonna be a road. Gonna be scan to scan ... waiting for something bad to happen."

And husband, Adam's, insightful response ... "We're NOT those people who wait for something bad to happen."

I hope you all have an "Adam" in your life to help you maintain this positive perspective :)

RUNClub

I just blasted into the house, and fell in an exhausted heap after having completed my fourth walk/run in the last 7 days. Howling wind made the -4 degrees feel much, much colder.

I haven't been back to 6 a.m. workout classes since my surgery. A pulled muscle over my right ribs, coupled with the fact that Dr. M banned me from lifting any weight over my head until he sees me on Monday, have made me apprehensive to spend the money to go when I couldn't do 50% of the exercises.

However, Vicky (my morning coach) was responsible for organizing an information session with the founder of RUNClub in Kamloops. My impression was that the clinic would give attenders some tips on getting ready for "Boogie the Bridge", the charity fun run for which I registered to be on Vicky's "Fitness for Life" team. Unknown to me was the fact that RUNClub is coming to Ashcroft! Kamloops is a city of 85,00 people; Ashcroft is a village of 1600 residents. Needless to say, Ashcroft-ites ALWAYS travel to Kamloops for the services. For RUNClub to be brought from Kamloops to Ashcroft is monumental, to say the least.

I was enthralled to listen to Jo Berry, founder of RUNClub and the Boogie the Bridge run, and learn about the philosophy behind her running club. With their motto of, "Movement is Change", the club  provides running, cycling, boot camps and breakthrough techniques along with a variety of  resources to thousands of people to live their best lives. If you are interested in knowing more, check out their website (RUNClub Kamloops).

After listening to Jo's inspirational story, and trying a 30 minute walk/run with the 51 other people who showed up at Buffalo Coffee in Ashcroft on Saturday morning, I have registered for the 6-week clinic that leads up to Boogie the Bridge. It starts one week from tomorrow. I have tried to be like the post man, and have made myself go for walk/runs Monday, Wednesday, and today through hail, sleet, rain, snow, etc. etc. I want to make this a routine part of my life from here on in!

I'm going to try to make this my new motto

as I endeavour to learn to run ... and keep running!

Get Pink'd!

Surprisingly, there seems to be a fair bit of controversy out there regarding organizations like the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation or the B.C. Cancer Agency. Many times (and I'm talking from close friends) I have heard statements such as, "I would NEVER donate to an organization who says they're researching for a cure. There will NEVER be a cure because the drug companies don't want one."

Hmmmm ... as a woman who has lived through breast cancer and who received tremendous information, support, and care through such organizations I respond, "I don't care! I support the organizations!" I want women to continue to receive the kind of support that I did.

To put my money where my mouth is, I have set up a team for National "Get Pink'd!" Day which is happening next Thursday, March 13th. Hoping to do a better job of fundraising than I did for "Run for the Cure" in October, I sent out a mass email to my staff, put up posters around my school, and placed a basket of 25 buttons on my staff room table. The premise is to "purchase" a button for a $5+ donation and wear it, along with pink clothing, on March 13th. Of course, the money goes directly to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.

Much to my disappointment, I have had a total of three (3!!!) staff members purchase a button. Now, I'm NOT a pushy person, and I'm definitely NOT on the PA system daily reminding them that time is running out. However, they know me, and they know my story, and I just thought ... to say I'm frustrated is an understatement.

I was absent from my classroom on Tuesday to attend a workshop. Apparently, there was an argument between two students about breast cancer -- funny how often it comes up in our discussions during class. Using me as his example, one 14-year old boy was arguing that women don't die of breast cancer any more.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if that were true!

Unfortunately, we're not quite there yet. If you would like to help make a difference (NO PRESSURE!!), here are some steps to follow to donate to my "team".

"Get Pink'd" Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation

- click on "search for a team to join and participate"

- search for "Yvonne Eaglestone, Ashcroft Secondary School"

- click on "Ashcroft Secondary School"

- click "Join Get Pink'd"

These steps will bring you to the right page if you desire to make a small donation towards battling this disease.

LET'S CREATE A FUTURE

WITHOUT BREAST CANCER!

LE                                             T

"Happy Birthday #2"

A most bizarre thing is happening to me ... days are disappearing! Just when I think I'm going to persistently write and get myself all caught up ... several days have transpired and, alas, I have not written anything. Has anyone else ever experienced such a phenomenon?

**********************

While I was in Trail, I received a most cherished email from my brother, Kevin, with the subject line, "Happy Birthday #2". In the midst of all my preparation and recuperation surrounding my surgery, I had totally forgotten that it had been one year since we "found" each other.

February 15th marked the day that Kevin first heard that I existed. On February 16th, the first (of hundreds) monumental emails exchanged hands. I will never, ever forget looking at photographs of my precious brother and sister for the very first time. Also, the way Kevin signed his first email will forever be etched on my memory -- "Your little brother, Kevin." He signed his February 16, 2014 email the very same way.

The day truly was another birth-day for me. The door was opened on an entire missing piece of me. A vital, lacking part of me was "born". Now, one year later, I simply cannot imagine life before Kevin, Charlotte, Mom, Dad, TC, Kimmie, Hub, and Dianne. What a memory-filled, whirlwind year it has been.

My birth-day gifts ... a cancer-induced reunion with my birth mom, another dad, my sister, Char, my brother, Kevin, and the rest of my wonderful new family.

Soooooooooooooooo worth it!!!

"Work" and Work

After having just driven the seven hours home to Ashcroft on Thursday, it was difficult to get back in the car and head to Kamloops on Friday.  However, if I didn't get a note from Dr. M stating I was medically sound to return to work, I would not be welcome in my classroom on Monday morning. Even though the red area had diminished since Maureen first documented it's borders allowing my infection fears to dwindle to the back burner, Dr. M noted that there was still considerable redness. He attributed it to inflammation, NOT infection, which was an immense relief. Using phrases like, "lots of digging around", "fair bit of excavation was necessary", he explained why my body would be sending lots of extra blood flow to the area trying to make things "right" again. All in all, he was extremely pleased with his "work", thought I was looking great, and issued me permission to get back in the saddle. My official "After" photo will be taken on March 10 when I go back to have my final viewing with Dr. M and learn the massage methods I will need to practice to avoid scar tissue build-up around the implant. ... Why is it, just when I think all this is going to END, that there is yet still another item on the infinite list of "What Yvonne needs to do next" ?!? ... I honestly NEVER thought "self-breast-massage" would be on my list :)

Only two of my steri-strips (NO stitches!!) had lifted and rubbed their way off by the time I saw Dr. M.  Surprisingly, the final steri-strip was removed (with just a wee little bit of my help) on Thursday -- 16 days after surgery. It was only then that I could truly see 100% of Dr. M's fantastic handiwork, examine my "lollipop incision" (which has a very appropriate name), and realize how little of my mastectomy scar Dr. M opened up (~50%!). Now, a full week after having my check-up, about 98% of the redness has disappeared, no open spots -- all is well!!

Expecting to find a messy room and an over-flowing marking tub, I headed off to school early last Saturday morning. The building was still standing and, much to my amazement, my room looked quite "normal". The only thing missing was work in my hand-in tub.  Like, I'm talking nothing -- it was empty!  What !?!?! Oh well, in the big scheme of things, it was only 2 weeks in my students' education life, and we would make large strides now that I was back to crack the whip.

When Monday morning arrived, I couldn't wait to see my students' faces and hear all about their two weeks. After some huge bear hugs (yup, I'm healed up enough already that bear hugs work again), all the ups and downs of the two weeks was laid out before me in great detail. Well, there were many, many more "downs" than "ups", but they survived to tell the story. It took the majority of the week for me to work my magic (ha! ha!) and get my precious students used to working again. My prediction is that next week we'll be humming along  like a well-oiled machine -- just in time for a two-week Spring Break, after which I'll be starting from scratch again.